I`m an average tax paying Canadian reading the morning news and mews on a Macbook with my sensory alarms running hot. Today I focus on the Environment and the news is not good! i.e headlines such as "Doctors Claim that Climate Change is the Greatest Threat to Public Health or We`re Beyond the Earth`s Carrying Capacity Now or Global Food prices expected to Climb and get more Volatile because of Global Warming." But how can that be? The sky is blue, the forecast is cool and life goes on here in "neverland" Canada as it always has. This news must be shite and I`m going to talk my neighbour into idling her Hummer a little longer so that we can get the temperature up where it should be? Where is this damn Global Warming that everyone is whining about?
I`ve got to do a little research on this global warming crap and see what real Scientists are saying? I`ll start with "SkepticalScience.com" which sounds like me. Here`s some of their thoughts:
"the debate on the authenticity of global warming and the role played by human activity is largely nonexistent among those who understand the nuances and scientific basis of long-term climate processes”. (Doran 2009). In other words, more than 95% of scientists working in the disciplines contributing to studies of our climate, accept that climate change is almost certainly being caused by human activities.We should also consider official scientific bodies and what they think about climate change. There are no national or major scientific institutions anywhere in the world that dispute the theory of anthropogenic climate change. Not one. In the field of climate science, the consensus is unequivocal: human activities are causing climate change."
Ok not good. What about Wikipedia, they usually have the answer?
National and international science academies and scientific societies have assessed the current scientific opinion, in particular on recent global warming. These assessments have largely followed or endorsed the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) position of January 2001 which states: An increasing body of observations gives a collective picture of a warming world and other changes in the climate system... There is new and stronger evidence that most of the warming observed over the last 50 years is attributable to human activities. No scientific body of national or international standing has maintained a dissenting opinion; the last was the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, which in 2007 updated its 1999 statement rejecting the likelihood of human influence on recent climate with its current non-committal position. Some other organizations, primarily those focusing on geology, also hold non-committal positions.
All right! Finally some common sense and as usual it comes the "American Association of Petroleum Geologists". I mean if you can`t trust Exxon then who the hell can you trust? They are a true Bullwort in the fight against "scientific nonsense"!
Just as I feel my Oily confidence getting real this damn "National Roundtable of Canada" comes out with their government sponsored study claiming that man-made Global Warming will cost Canada billions of dollars in damage by 2020? They`re saying we`ll have to spend $5 billion per year adaptation costs at that point and $43 billion per year by 2050!? Shite what will that cost the Americans if Canada gets dinged that hard? How did our government let these guys publish this dubious report?
Luckily our Environment Minister has this covered. He says Canada is putting $58 million away per year to cover this problem. That gives us 464 million adaptation dollars in the bank by 2020. Ok, so that`s only a tenth of the first year`s cost but I`m sure Kent and Prime Minister Harper have a plan (or the next PM Justin Trudeau). Probably they`ll print more dollars at 0% interest until our needs are met. Simple strategy. We`ve learned it well from the "Greatest Nation on Earth" and the deserved needs of our pampered civilization are met once again.
And if the printing press fails to satisfy our needs the Government has other obvious options. These "think tank" Science guys just don`t understand modern economics. We`ll just bring in some "Wall Street" brainiacs and put that $464 million into a government sponsored "Hedge Fund" that invests in "Oil and Gas Derivatives" that make so much money we won`t be able to understand its worth. Awesome, its like a free slot machine that you keep rolling until you get what you want. As Michael Moore might say "Capitalism is our Love Story" and Wall Street is our girl friend! You gotta love it!
Sure, you`d think the odds aren`t good with less than 5% of Scientists on my side and Roundtables or Intergovernmental Panels stacking up on the side of Scientific probability, but I`ve got help. Fox news, Rush Limbaugh, Rex Murphy at the CBC, the National Post and plenty of good sensible U.S. Senators are disputing these silly Scientific Truths more vehemently than I am. This gives me that warm and Oily confidence that Exxon will continue to make the most profit in the history of capitalism and that our Governments will print their asses off to maintain the status quo. This scientific truth nonsense doesn`t have a chance in this mighty Oil and Coal Kingdom! Praise the future of Climate Science!
"It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. " Carl Sagan